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Dec 27, 20211 min read
Cactus Offering Unmasked, Unvaccinated Patrons 50% Off Lifespan Deal
“Frankly, we didn’t have to change that much to put this deal in place,” said Cactus supervisor Jason Palberg. “Most of our customer base...
Oct 21, 20212 min read
Student Grateful to Bike Thief Who Only Took Seat
Bike theft is a scourge in Iowa City, one that leaves bike-owners of all ages living in constant fear that they will be the next in a...
Sep 28, 20211 min read
The Doily Allergen: Sexual Misconduct PSA
“UI Assures Student Body They’re Doing Something To Resolve This” is a headline we’ve run several times. I came up with it after a...
Apr 8, 20211 min read
Evergreen Cargo Boat Stuck In CRWC Swimming Pool
Less than a week after being freed from its trade-halting position in the Suez Canal, the Ever Given cargo ship was reported yesterday to...
Dec 14, 20202 min read
University Announces Plans For Contact-Free Therapy Dog Session
In an effort to combat the spread of COVID-19 while still helping students alleviate their finals week stress, the university announced...
Dec 11, 20202 min read
"This Year's Actually Been Pretty Good For Me," Says Deranged Danger to Society
Most sane human beings would agree that 2020 has been an absolute dumpster fire of a year, with almost no respite from an onslaught of...
Sep 13, 20202 min read
Climate Scientists Retract All Research From Past Decades After Realizing It Was All Actually Just G
Scientists studying climate change around the globe called off their research earlier this week, having determined that the sole cause of...
Nov 21, 20191 min read
Apartments At Iowa Hikes Rent To One Of Your Roommates’ Organs Per Month
Last week, Iowa City residents were stunned to find that Apartments At Iowa had hiked its standard rent rate to one resident’s organ per...
Nov 8, 20192 min read
4 Ways To Tell If The Person Walking Ahead of You Is Vaping Or Just Breathing While It’s Cold Out
As the weather in Iowa City turns cold, every pedestrian is faced with an important question: is that guy vaping, or just breathing while...
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